The 2002 LRH Birthday Event was a bit of a bore this year.


Scientology's doublecross

[NOTE: Cerridwen's report here contains a description of what the head crime boss David Miscaviage had to say about his 'Vulture Ministers' fraud so the whole report is reproduced here - jad]

Report on the 2002 LRH Birthday Event
4 Apr 2002

The 2002 LRH Birthday Event was a bit of a bore this year.

My husband absolutely refused to go with me to this event so I went with a girlfriend. We made a night of it and went out to eat at this really nice Italian restaurant. I had the excellent veal piccata and she opted for the blackened chicken alfredo. We both had a couple of glasses of merlot which could account for my lack of specifics in the reporting of this event.

As with each International Event, there is always a thread or a theme that runs throughout the event. The basic theme of this event was to get Scientologists "rehabbed" on getting back on purpose on the 3rd Dynamic. In wog speak that means to get them to be more active and especially to get them to join staff.

It's never done in an obvious heavy handed way, that is, one would not get. "Ok you worthless shits, get on staff". But instead it's done by "enlightening" and pushing lots of Scn buttons. But it's pretty much known and unspoken that both Org and Sea Org staff think that anyone that is not on staff is a worthless piece of shit.

Keeping this theme in mind, the rest of the event and the news, wins, and briefing were all given with the idea of getting the public revved up to join staff or at least contribute more to the C of S.

Throughout the event the cameras panned the crowd and we got to see Priscilla Presley, Lisa Marie, Nancy Cartwright, the CO Flag Debbie Cook, Sally and Craig Jensen and other Scn "got bucks" types. As per some policy, Scientology's Rich and Famous get front row seats at events.

DM as always is the first on stage and starts the event with a standing ovation.

DM is wearing the same very nice single-breasted shawl lapel tuxedo with the white straight cut handkerchief in the breast pocket and a black bow tie. He is wearing his hair just slightly longer and it is much darker than it was 5 or more years ago. I have no way to confirm this but I think he had lifts in his shoes. Either that or the winners of the Birthday game were all kind of short.

DM starts in with the Wins and Expansion News and talks about ABLE. Narconon Arrowhead is the big news.

Per DM Narconon Arrowhead is busting at the seams with public and they have had to build bunk beds to accommodate all the public there.

Not only that but Narconon arrowhead is the place where Narconon staff are sent to train so that they can then go back and start new Narconon's all over the world.

DM spoke of some accreditation agency, whose name I can not recall (I can't take notes at this thing.) This accreditation agency does have the word "Addiction" in it and I apologize, as that is all I remember of the name. I do not believe it was CARP or the other agency that Narconon lists on its web pages. DM said that this accreditation agency ALWAYS had a policy that they would only accredit counselors with "college degrees".

DM stated that the Narconon staff did a presentation to this accreditation board and convinced them that the Narconon/LRH tech was far superior to any college degree and the Accreditation Board was so damn impressed that they certified 22 Narconon Arrowhead counselors.

I believe DM stated that there are twenty new Narconon's in the world with 2 of them in the US.

When the next issue of Int Scn News comes out I am sure it will list all the specifics of the event and I will post them for you.

DM also spoke of Narconon PSA's (Public Service Announcements) and their continued playing on CNN.

This is all due to the fact that CNN was so damn impressed with the Narconon program. Anyway, per DM, CNN will continue to air the Narconon PSA's as long as Narconon continues to provide CNN with them.

The CNN PSA's are creating a very big reach for Narconon per DM's briefing.

The Berlin Wall and Dianetics Books.

Most of you have heard the stories of how the Berlin Wall came tumbling down after OT 8 was released. Well DM has a new reason why for the Berlin Wall coming down. It appears that just before the Berlin Wall crumbled, a small but secretive Dianetic Auditors Group had formed behind the Berlin Wall. They became active and Viola! The rest is history.

VM Campaign.

DM said that the VM phone line gets 6000 phone calls a week. A stat graph showed 5100 VM's before Sept 11 and 15,400 VM's as of March 13, 2002.

Of course there were NOT 10,300 VM course grads in the past 6 months. Nope. It appears anyone can be a VM, even a non-Scientologist. In one example given it looked like someone taught a bunch of Africans how to do a touch assist and they all instantly became VM's.

As we all know the C of S has their own unique way of counting stats.

Dan Sherman - LRH Biographer.

Let me preface this next section with the explanation that since my unindocing, I no longer think like many homophobic Scientologists. I've looked the situation over and I'm very cool on people being gay. I will admit that this was not the case when I was a fully indoc'd one as part of the indoc teaches you that gay people are 1.1 and perverted.

Now with that said I have to tell you that Dan Sherman, the LRH biographer, seems to be ahhh… be in touch with his feminine side. What I mean by that is that he is so obviously gay. My girlfriend and I both agreed that it was VERY noticeable and we just couldn't figure out why DM was letting this guy who flits his wrists and talks with a sweet lisp and who more than likely likes to take it up the poopshute, would be a major speaker at the event. Of course if you are a regular Indoc'd Scientologist, you're not going to say anything about it to anyone as it may sound like you are nattering or god only knows what else.

But I will have to admit that when I mentioned Dan's "gayness" to another unindoc'd friend, she didn't see it that way at all.

I am not sure if Dan is in the SO or exactly what his status is but I got the idea that he may not be in the SO because he wore his hair rather longish, (just slightly over the collar) and the SO guys usually have a clean military coif.

Anywayz, Dan went on and on and on and on about LRH and this 3rd Dynamic tech.

He mentioned that back in the 50's LRH did not originally own or control the Dianetic groups, and because of that they failed organizationally. Dan mentioned that the guy who ran one of the original groups was a communist and used Das Kapital as his form of organization, and that another one was an Admiral who knew about the navy but nothing about running a Dn organization. The basic message here was to drive home the indoc by convincing everyone that LRH is smarter than everyone else and only he could figure our how to run an organization successfully. The rest of us are basically a bunch of asshole and need to follow instructions.

Back to Dan

What Dan Sherman really knows about LRH is unknown to me. Dan being the official biographer is either indoc'd to the eyeballs, an idiot, or just spoon-fed what DM wants him to know. It may be a case of all of the above.

But it seems that Dan's job as Biographer is to time track every waking moment of LRH's life. Additionally, he seems to have the job of proving LRH right about everything. Geeze, is this poor son of a bitch in for a loss or what.

This entire event was a major recruitment cycle. Dan talked about LRH and basic purpose of the being with the idea of motivating or rehabbing each Scientologists purpose to help expand Scn.

Dan got in his evil psych lines when discussing the early Dn groups that were so fucked up 3rd Dynamically, due to the fact that LRH admin tech did not yet exist.

Dan discussed how LRH was one of the very first people on the planet to use telex machines making for swift comm lines throughout the world.

The Implant Graphics

Here's one for you paranoid types that are into subliminal messages and symbolism.

Before each or video clip was shown (something that is done quite often at these events) there was this really weird graphic of being sent down a tunnel with this schwooshing noise. For those of you who are into the C of S Implanting/Subliminal/Symbolic thingies, this would be a very cool example. But since I'm not into that aspect, I'll not go into great detail about it.

In addition to this schwooshing tunnel Implant thingie, one graphic used was all the OT 2 platen GPM thingies. I forget why they were shown because I was surprised that they were using them.

Mark Yager

Mark Yager spoke of the Mission expansion and the translation stats. I really thought he looked like shit. Extremely thin. I know the guy has always been thin but he was really skeletal. Also he is VERY bald. Some guys look great bald. Mark looked bad. Honestly, I just wanted to take him home and give him a good meal.

Due to some kind of new computer they now have they are able to produce translated tapes, books, course pack etc in two weeks. This is a very big deal for the C of S as what now takes two weeks used to take 4 months or something like that. The point is that they are now doing these translations very quickly.

I believe all of the Bridge up through Class V is now available in Russian. This includes all the course packs, books and tapes that are required for Courses in a Class V org.

A Video was shown of the St. Petersburg, Russia, Mission, which is now officially a Class V org. Lots of stats and expansion numbers being tossed about to show how fast Scn is expanding in Russia. I have no idea if the data is accurate or not.

Harlingen, Texas

There was a video clip on Harlington, which is the home of WISE member and big bucks Scientologist, Juan Villarreal

It seems that The Way to Happiness is a being widely promoted down in Harlingen, Texas and per the video, is the sole reason why the crime rate dropped to zero in the town of Harlingen. I'm not kidding they said the crime rate dropped to zero.

Also a brand new mission was opened in Harlingen and the mayor was there to cut the ribbon.

Who Won Birthday game?

First Place -- The Mission of Beverly Hills.

Class V Org:
First Place - C of S of Budapest, Hungary.
Second Place - C of S of Padova, Italy
Third Place - C of S of Milano, Italy

First place - AOLA
Second Place - AOSH EU
Third Place - Celebrity Center Int

Continental Liaison Orgs

For those of you not familiar with the Birthday game, it's not about the biggest org/mission that year. It about the overall expansion and it's based on a complicated point system.

The Org, Mission, CLO, etc. with the most Birthday game points wins.

The Mission Holder, ED of the Class V org or the Commanding Officer of the SO Org, goes to the stage to receive their trophy and jockey shirt.

"Jockey shirt"? Yes, jockey shirt. It has something to do with LRH talking about the birthday game being a race and the winner is top jockey. The trophy is a statue of a jockey on a racing horse as well.

The winner stands on the stage with DM with two very pretty SO girls on either side of DM and the Winner. The girls are dressed in all white with the long white gloves and have that vestal virgin thing going on.

The 4 of them stand there for about 15 seconds for the photo op and then one girl hands the winner the trophy and the other one folders the jockey shirt and then hangs it over the winners arm. THEN both girls blow a kiss to the audience and walk off stage.

It is so corny and contrived that I actually groaned when I saw it.

The Winner then approaches the podium and gives a short (about 2 minutes) speech that is already written and approved of.

What was very noticeable is that each of the winners took time to thank the COB and the RTC for "keeping the tech pure". Then of course each one thanked LRH at which point everybody stands (even the guys watching the video a week later) and applauds LRH.

After the Birthday winners are announced there is another important win to be announced. This win starts off with the schwooshing down the tunnel implant graphic and then we see the video announcing that both Class V Orgs in Mexico City went Saint Hill size.

Now if anyone out there has the specs on what it takes to be Saint Hill size, I would greatly appreciate the data being posted or mailed to a critic that you trust with a request to post the data. Certain criteria must be met to get the Size of Old Saint Hill awarded. It has to do with the number of people on staff, the number of people on course, the number of well done auditing hours, etc.

But anywayz... Both Mexico City Orgs got awarded with "Saint Hill Size" status, which is a very big deal because I don't think that any orgs have been awarded "Saint Hill Size" in the past 8 or 10 years. Per the video, it appears that the "why" for these two orgs going SHS is that a bunch of Mexican's responded to DM's wake up call and joined staff.

DM also said that there were 5 more Class V orgs on the brink of being awarded SHS and news of this will be coming up at future events.

Dm wraps it up with pitch to join staff. Make Scn your purpose, etc, etc, etc.

The after event is a series of avoiding staff while stuffing your face with very tasty food. One must fill out surveys, and then run the gauntlet of staff to get out the door. My girlfriend and I were still stuffed from dinner so we blew out of there as quickly as possible.



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